Children and Death...

Many people ask if a child should be allowed to attend a funeral, or if they are welcome at calling hours (the wake). The answer here is YES. But there are a few things to take into consideration. The primary consideration is NOT to force the child to attend the funeral. If the child asks to go, then by all means let him. The secondary consideration is the child's understanding of death. Usually, children under the age of 6 do not have a thorough understanding of death. It is important to explain to the child beforehand what he will be seeing and doing when he comes to the funeral home or funeral service. Explain to them in terms they understand, that death is a part of life.

Most children understand that in nature, plants and animals die, but they do not know why people die, especially if it is someone they are particularly close to, such as a grand-parent. There are a lot of questions racing through that young mind when they hear that someone has died. Like most adults, children want to know why someone has died, where they go to when they have died, and why couldn't the doctors or hospitals stop them from dying.

There are many resources for you to find the questions to these answers. The Internet itself contains hundreds of pages on this subject. Check with your local library, or your local funeral home. They will be glad to provide you with the names of books or pamphlets dealing with these subjects. If you cannot find an answer at these sources, feel free to e-mail me and I will try to be as helpful as possible in this area.